Surprise! We are #pregnantAF.
This last month has been a struggle. Actually, the pst 6.5 months have been really hard. And great. But really hard. When I was pregnant with B, I had a very physically easy pregnancy until the very end. Emotionally, it was very tough for a number of reasons but I felt good, was active, and was happy and comfortable being pregnant. I was huge, but huge and happy!
I am nearly 26 weeks pregnant with baby Finn #3, and until recently, I felt like I was trapped on a bad ride at an amusement park- I am physically and emotionally drained. I wasn’t able to keep anything down for the first 23 weeks, and by choice, I had very little support emotionally. (We didn’t tell anyone until pretty recently.) See, not only is this pregnancy considered high risk because of B’s heart defect, but its been so different than either S or B. Most recently, we discovered that I am lactose intolerant due to pregnancy. So my love affair with cheese is now over. How jacked up is that? Couple it with the raging carpal tunnel I have in my left wrist, and I am one pretty lady these days. (Thank you, J for the infamous wrist guards!)
The other day, I took S to Trader Joe’s so I could get some non dairy cheese. Though I am impressed that they even have any of this “product”, none of it has me fooled into thinking it is actually cheese. It doesn’t melt, and tastes sort of grainy if that makes sense. But at least I have cheddar flavor???
All tests have come back great for this baby so far, thankfully. We have been to MFM a few times now and had a fetal echo today which went well. But as most parents are, I am perpetually worried about what is to come. Though I know what it is to be a NICU mom, I am really scared of that happening again. I had a couple minor complications at the beginning which hasn’t eased the anxiety at all.
So there is is. I’m pregnant. For the last time. And more worried than the first two times which is crazy to me.
I’ve been working out with intensity throughout this pregnancy and that is literally the only time I feel good. I haven’t slept much which doesn’t help my cause. I finally got a belly last week. Literally. I didn’t look at all pregnant until this week which is also completely different from when I was pregnant with my other two. I was a gigantic mess by this point with the other two. And now, at 6.5 months, I still just kind of look like I ate a burrito and “let myself go”.
So welcome to the roller coaster that will be the next few months. We are so excited to complete our little family and very thrilled for the blessing of another sweet kiddo into our family. But man, is this hard. I guess it’s why pregnancy is temporary. Nature for sure let me know that this is the last of the human puzzle pieces to the Finn family.
Oh, and no, we are not going to find out if it is a boy or girl until his or her birthday. And also no, I have no gut feeling. The only person who thinks they know is S, who is dead set that she needs a sister thanks to the movie Frozen. B just thinks I have a trampoline in my belly that he can sit and bounce on.
Here is what I now know about creating a family of five:
-Every pregnancy is different. FAR different.
-When people say that “you will know when you are done”, they mean it. We are done.
-We can do this. Three kids will be hard, but man, in the wise words of a dear friend, when their little angelic faces are asleep on the pillow, you remember why you did this all.
-I miss cheese. And wine. And my body. Thankfully this is all temporary.
-Stay tuned and follow me on Instagram (@alimfinn) as we go through this journey to FIVE!