I literally had ZERO patience at the end of the day today. The list of s–t that my kids did and ruined today was still growing at 7:12 pm tonight. I think I almost bit through my lip as a result of the frustration. I kept telling myself that I needed to relax, and I did make it through (most) of the night without raising my voice. (L, our beagle-jack russel mix (because thats a good breed of dog) jumped on the table and I thought I was going to move mountains with my voice.) Here are some of the fun parts of today:
- B chewed all of the juice out of one of those fat markers. It was yellow thank god, and non toxic according to the poison control.
- S took TWO lip balms, opened them, stuck her finger in the wax, smushed it ALL, and proceeded to rub it all over her cheeks, hands, and arms. Two full sticks.
- Both kids got ahold of a brand new container of wipes and made it “snow” in the living room while I was pureeing the vegetables I would later hide in their dinner.
- S crapped AGAIN in the freaking tupperware potty. Why have I not thrown it away? No idea. At least she craps on her own time now? L got the pleasure of hearing me dry puke from her tupperware poops last week. #sendhelp
- B grabbed his poop filled boy parts like his hand had a magnet to his junk before I even peeled his diaper back. He then touched his shirt and my FACE. My freaking FACE.
- S turned her green beans into liquid in her mouth and then made it “rain” on the table. Bean saliva. All over.
BEDTIME FINALLY. And I did it alone. Before I put Diva S down, I asked her nicely to go easy on mama tonight. I was really reminding myself to use whatever patience I had left. This little lady won’t let me snuggle her before bed forever, so I better enjoy it now. We read, sang songs while I dreamt of red wine and adult conversation, and she told me she loved me. Thats it. Cup semi refilled. The wine will do the rest of the job later. She knew mama needed a break. Now off to bed so I can miss the very little beings that made me curse motherhood 2 hours ago.